Liberation: freedom from many areas of bondage

As I shared with you in my previous post, Liberation in my Recovery Journey, “liberation” is very meaningful to that aspect of my life, it encompasses more than just that, as recovery is only one piece of my story.

I believe there are many avenues down which God desires to lead me in order to liberate me from various sources of bondage.  

In my experience, understanding is a gift received in hindsight. From this vantage point, I am not able to see how “liberation” will ultimately play out.

However, I know God will reveal the meaning behind this theme of liberation and it will become clearer to me as the days progress.  Which of course, I’ll be happy to share with you along the way.  

After some time reflecting on the word “liberation” and what this could mean for me in the season ahead, I came up with a list of various areas in my life wherein bondage currently exists.  Bondage I believe God intends to free me from in some way, in His good timing. 

Freedom from bondage such as: 

• Poor body image and the desire to exert control over my body size and shape.  I trust in time and with continued endurance and practice, God will help me release, and be liberated from, the internalized beliefs that were ingrained in me over time after being subjected to messages promoting that “smaller is better” (e.g., thinner means more beauty, happiness, power, strength, self-discipline, etc.).  I trust I will be freed from the bondage of the tyranny of the “thin ideal” (or “fit ideal” or “strong ideal” – or any “ideal” for that matter) that continues to be reinforced by many in our society today. I believe in time, I will be freed from the bondage of viewing any body as being “ideal” and will be able to not only experience body acceptance and appreciation, but body liberation, as Jes Baker advocates (read more about that here). Someday, I will have a healthy relationship with my body: which to me, means thinking less about my body and allowing my brain space to be reserved solely for the things that truly matter in life. 
• The “need to please” and desire to manage people’s opinions of me. It’s important for me to continually release my desire to be liked by everyone or try to control their opinions of me (which I know, quite frankly, is impossible, anyway! People will think what they think…and not everyone will like me: and that’s okay!). I don’t want to let the opinions of others dictate my decisions, how I live my life, how/what I think about myself, or whether I pursue certain dreams or tasks God has placed on my heart.  I need to stay true to who I am and dedicated to my own unique calling and purpose: even if it may look foolish to others or cause me to be judged or misunderstood.
• The lie that tries to convince me I need to “fit in” in order to belong. It’s very natural to want to belong; but for a long time, I believed the lie that belonging was one and the same as “fitting in” and looking like everyone else.  God is continually showing me how uniqueness is to be celebrated and proudly exhibited.  I expect God will continue to build my confidence in my own uniqueness and grow me in this area.
• The fear of failure. The fear of failure has held me back in many ways over the years: to avoid the shame of defeat or looking foolish to others, I often chose the “safe” choice and “played by the rules.”  Over time, I’m learning some of the best lessons are learned through failure: and failure does not mean you are “less than.” Rather, it takes an incredible amount of bravery to take risks and/or try something new, even though I may not be the best at it or may possibly fail. 
• The pursuit of perfection. I was born having perfectionistic tendencies, so perfectionism is something I’m constantly fighting.  As a “recovering perfectionist,” I am finding freedom in the pursuit of “I did my best” and “good enough.”  God is continually showing me how to harness this energy to be “perfect” and put it into action in a healthy, balanced way.
• Anxiety, overwhelm, fear, and stress. These feelings get the best of me way too often.  This is a huge area of bondage, an area that God has been working on with me in my life journey.  An area wherein I believe God will continue to challenge and grow me, no doubt.
• The desire to seek affirmation and my sense of worth from others.  There are some days when I catch myself looking to others (rather than God) to fill my emotional tank, provide me with a bump of encouragement, or provide me with ego-stroking praise to make me feel better about myself. My identity and sense of worth can at times be tied to what others think or say about me.  I want my identity and worth to be tied to nothing but God Himself.  This is what God wants for me, too, as it’s the best thing for me…for all of us.  He is the only source wherein we can find true completeness, peace, love, and acceptance.
• The limiting belief that tells me my worth is tied to my achievement. “Be the best you can be” is a mantra that drove me for years. I often felt like what I was doing was never enough: I needed to do more. I always needed to be “on”…be pushing…be striving…stand out against my peers…and try to be “the best” in all areas possible. As a child I quickly learned when I succeeded at something (e.g., in school, in sports, etc.), I received praise and felt like a “better person.” Somewhere along the way, I ingested the message that I needed to achieve and gain success in order to gain be important. To be seen. To be enough. God has shown me over the years how I am enough just as I am: there is nothing I need to do to gain His love or prove my worth. I’ve even been convicted that at times, I actually need to STOP “doing”…and just “be.” Because sometimes my drive to accomplish things and my desire to achieve can distract me from God and the important things in life. This “achievement-means-more-worth” mindset is one God continues to challenge. And I’m finding when I start from a place of knowing I’m already “enough” and have nothing to prove, I can still achieve and accomplish great things…perhaps even better things…because my love for God drives me, rather than my desire to be “enough.”
• Anorexia and disordered eating. I trust I will ultimately be able to stand firm and proclaim one day to be “fully recoverED”…with an “ED” …not “in recovery for the rest of my life” or “something I’ll always struggle with”…nope, my friends – I believe FULL recovery is possible, and is indeed in my future.

The above are only a few areas wherein I envision God working out liberation in my life.  Some areas of bondage will take longer to break than others. In fact, some forms of bondage may never be lifted in entirely.  For example, anxiety is likely something that I will continue to be confronted with throughout my life, as anxiety is part of my inherent wiring and is  something to which I am naturally predisposed.  

However, even for areas such as anxiety (which I may very well continue to deal with until the day I die), I know God intends to liberate me from certain patterns of thought and behavior to strengthen me and grow me, so I am more able to victoriously push through these afflictions, without falling victim to them. 

Quick side note on that: I believe ED will NOT be one of those continued, life-long afflictions.  There is an end to this beastly struggle: I trust and have confidence in that whole-heartedly.

So what about you?

What areas of bondage do you see present in your own life?  

What areas do you currently struggle with that prevent you from experiencing the freedom God desires you to experience in your own life?

What behaviors, habits, thoughts, beliefs, or patterns are present in your own life that could use some tweaking?

Share with me in the comments. Or direct message me (through the Contact page, Facebook, or Instagram) if you need additional support or encouragement around certain forms of bondage through which you’re currently struggling.