Emotional Awareness Faith YouTube

Grief is Not Disbelief

You Don’t Need to Feel Guilty for Your Feelings

Do you ever feel like you need to filter how you think or feel?

Do you ever feel guilty about how you truly feel because you think you “shouldn’t feel that way” or “should know better”?

We can sometimes find ourselves feeling “guilty” when what we “really feel” conflicts with the truth we “know” or believe to be true.

During this Coronavirus pandemic in particular, I’ve witnessed a whole heck of a lot of the “I know I shouldn’t feel this way” chatter. 

Our “shared pain” and grief over this entire situation has driven many folks to come together in community: it’s helped smash down barriers and encouraged us to actually “get real” with each other. 

Which is such a wonderful thing.

However, as folks began to open up and confess struggles and expose hurts, I started noticed a theme amongst many of us:  

Many of us have been feeling “guilty” for how we truly feel.

Grief, in particular, has been a hard pill to swallow for many of us. There’s a been a common theme amongst many of us where we feel like we haven’t “earned” our right to grieve.

For example, I’ve heard people confess:

  • I feel guilty for feeling so sad – my family and I are healthy, so I should be thankful
  • I shouldn’t feel so bad, there are others who are much worse off
  • If only I had more faith in God, I wouldn’t be struggling so much

Can you relate, Friend?

You Deserve to Feel However You Feel

If you find yourself feeling “guilty” about how you’re feeling during this pandemic, you’re certainly not alone.

But, Friend, hear me when I say: you do not need to “earn the right” to feel what you feel.

IT’S SUCH A LIE that you could possibly be “disqualified” from feeling your grief, sadness, or any other emotion.

You deserve to feel however you feel.

Just because there are others who are facing greater hardships, doesn’t invalidate your pain or forfeit your right to mourn your own losses.

We’ve all experienced loss because of this pandemic. And we’re all suffering right now.

So give yourself permission to grieve your losses, whatever they may be.

Grief Doesn’t Mean You Lack Faith

ANOTHER BIG FAT LIE I’d like to expose is this:

Grief does not mean you lack faith, my Friend.

Some of us may feel resistant toward owning our grief because we think it reveals disbelief. But, I believe, it’s quite the opposite.

In my opinion, being honest about how we truly feel and working through our raw, very real emotions with God is actually an act of faith.

It says to God, I know I can trust you with my heart, Lord. I know You will love me and stand by me, no matter what I do, say, or feel. So, I want to be honest and wrestle through my doubts and questions with you.”

Wrestling through our grief and other “real” emotions we feel deep down can help grow us in our faith and develop closer intimacy with God.

I mean, think of a time a friend shared intimate secrets with you (and vice versa). You felt closer to that friend after sharing such an intimate moment, right?

Well, the same is true with God. If anything, it’s even truer when it comes to God, because He knows us infinitely more than we even know ourselves.

An Example of Intimacy with God

One person who is such a good example of this honest “soul wrestle” with God is David.

His emotional rawness is poured out liberally throughout the Psalms.

I don’t know about you, but I’m personally so encouraged by how David never seemed to hide his internal struggles or doubts from God.

He didn’t try to show up before God “emotionally cleaned up” or “verbally tidy.”

For instance, in Psalm 13, we see David wrestling through some messy grief and sadness with God.

Picture of a starry sky, quoting the verse Psalm 13:1, "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?"

As I read this Psalm, I envision David falling to his knees, crushed by the weight of his sadness.

I see him pounding his fists in frustration, moaning bitterly, and crying out to God in violent, messy, snobby tears.

He didn’t try to sugar-coat his words.

He didn’t try to “filter” his emotions.

Heck, no.

Instead, David welcomes God into his emotional mess.

I’m so encouraged by how honest David was.

He felt comfortable telling God he felt like God had abandoned him. He expressed how lonely he felt, how desperately he longed to be rescued.

This prayer from David is such a beautiful illustration of true intimacy with God. David knew he could show up before God without pretense.

It’s this kind of closeness God desires for all of us.

How Can You Develop More Intimacy with God?

Maybe you know God wants you to be honest with him. But still, you find yourself having a hard time “getting real” with God.

Perhaps you want to feel this closeness with God, but you don’t know what this looks like or where to even begin.

Friend, I’ve so been there.

Join me in the following video to hear more on how it’s truly okay to “get real” with God and own up to whatever it is we think or feel (even if they conflict with all the “should’s”). 


  • Why it’s important to own up to our grief, fears, doubts, and other feelings
  • Why grief does not mean a lack of faith
  • What it looks like to “get honest” with God
  • Simple habits you can implement to grow closer to God through prayer

You Might Also Like...

No Comments

    Leave a Reply