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Don’t Mask Your Real to Appease Critics

August 7, 2019

Welcome friend!

I’m a Wisconsin-raised, San Franciscan writer, speaker, and coach specialized in the areas of mindset, self-worth, body image, and faith-based confidence.

Meet rachael

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There are a LOT of critics out there. 

  • Society tells us who we “should” or shouldn’t be to be accepted and respected.
  • Our culture persuades us that we need to live up to society’s “standards” and “ideals” in order to be valuable and worthy in this world.
  • Our families have opinions about how we should live and/or the careers we should pursue (or step away from).
  • Our own ambitions and longing for acceptance drive us to strive to “become” someone great (or at the very least…a “better” version of ourselves).
  • Our own Inner Critics take cues from the external criticism, screaming loudly, “you’re not good enough!”

SO…MUCH…NOISE! 

SO…MUCH…PRESSURE!

Never Enough

If you ever find yourself feeling like you’re not enough, let me reassure you:

You’re not alone…and also…it’s not your fault.

We live in a society that promotes incredibly high (and often unrealistic) “ideals” and standards. There’s an incredible amount of pressure to “live up” to these high standards in order to escape potential abuse from all the Critics out there if we don’t measure up.

The ridiculous expectations that are impressed upon us are continually reinforced: we’re subjected to messaging that tells us: “you need to be/do ______ to be worthy in this world.”

Society’s “measure of worthiness” is based in large part on external factors, such as how we look, who we know, what we do for a living, or other things that our society deems important.

Even more problematic, our culture likes to try to convince us that our worth is contingent upon our ability to meet such criteria. It reinforces this lie by treating some as are more valuable than others.

Many of us don’t fit the “ideal” mold that has been set.

And for those of us who don’t: we’re reminded of that fact each and every day.

Many of us don’t live up to our society’s expectations of “worthiness.” It’s no wonder some of struggle with feeling “less than enough” at times.

Taking on Masks Under the False Cover of “Self-Improvement”

It’s an understatement to say that the standards used by our culture to determine how “valuable” and “deserving of acceptance” we are are not Biblically grounded.

Whether Christian or non-Christian, I expect you can agree that there are flaws in the ideals prescribed by our society.

Many of us disagree with the values and beliefs promoted by our culture; but still, it’s almost impossible to not be impacted and influenced by their toxicity. It’s hard to not allow it affect us and play off our insecurities and feelings of “not enough.”

Masks of False Identities

When we are plagued by insecurities and feel less than enough, many of us are persuaded to take on and/or hide behind masks of false identities

We wear our achievements, perfectionism, popularity, financial status, and appearance. Under the disguise of “self-improvement” we display masks such as these to “better” ourselves. 

We pick up masks to hide the parts of ourselves we believe are less attractive to others. We hide our perceived flaws, we bury our jaded pasts, we transform our personalities to conform with the “in” crowd, we polish our images to hide our insecurities.

We are convinced that the masks we take on are helping transform us into better human beings. We are convinced these masks will rid us of our insecurities, gain us confidence, and win us the acceptance, approval, and belonging we crave from our peers.

We put on mask after mask, manufacturing and presenting to the world a more polished, “improved” version of ourselves.

The Problem with Masks

The problem with masks is…they are only a facade.

Masks may polish our exterior worlds temporarily, but they do nothing to adjust the mess that lies beneath. Our insecurities remain, our problems fester, our true feelings are suppressed. Rather than living up to their promises to help us or change us for the better, our masks eventually expose their deceit by creating more messes and mayhem in our lives.

What’s worse is that in our efforts to take on masks to “become someone great,” what usually ends up happening is we lose sight of who we truly are.

We begin to attach our identities and worth to the masks we wear, rather than the God who created us.

  • We tie our worth, acceptance, and belonging to the “masks” this world deems valuable, rather grounding ourselves in God so He can remind us of our inherent worthiness.
  • We look to others to tell us who we are or how we should live, rather than turning to God (the One who TRULY knows best) for direction and guidance.
  • We strive to live up to the expectations of others, rather than directing our efforts to pleasing God and living out the calling He has placed on our lives.

When we pick up masks and start to try to create versions of ourselves we think we ought to be (or others want us to be), we become something other than that which we were destined to be.

We lose touch with our True Selves.

We distance ourselves from the persons God created us to be.

The “God Honest” Truth

You, my Friend, do NOT need to wear any masks to be valuable in this world.

The truth of the matter is: YOU ARE ENOUGH. No masks required.

Perhaps you know this to be true. Perhaps you believe in your heart of hearts that each person in this world is enough and has unsurpassable worth in God’s eyes.

But let’s be honest:

  • It’s one thing to think something to be true.
  • It’s another thing to allow it to resonate in each of our hearts and own it as our own truth.

There is abundant chatter in the world today telling us that our worth is contingent upon whether we look, act, or play the part society deems as “valuable.”

While we may know this belief to be flawed…it can still be very convincing. Especially given the fact that it plays off of our own insecurities.

It’s very possible to “think” your enough. While at the same time not “feel” like you’re enough.

Perhaps that’s where you find yourself today.  Maybe your past hurts, our culture’s brainwashing, your present struggles, and own insecurities may cause you to doubt your own worth.

If this is where you find yourself, let me reassure you, you are not alone. Many of us struggle with feelings of unworthiness.

I personally can attest to that fact. I can empathize if you feel “less than” enough, because I’ve been there before, too.

But Friend, I want more for you than head-knowledge worthiness.

I want you to not only intellectually understand you’re enough as you are. I want it to resonate throughout your whole being. I want it to ring true in your heart, mind, and soul.

Not sure how to get there?

That’s ok! I’m here to help you find your way back to that truth.

I’ve been down this path of rediscovering my “True Self” and working with God to break down all the “masks” I previously chose to wear. There are a lot of learnings and take-aways I’ve picked up along the way, and I’m thrilled to share them with you.

My hope is that the resources and tools I’ve learned up in my own “unmasking” process will serve you in your own journey back to your “True You” as well.

Resources and Tools

This site is dedicated to helping you see yourself as God sees you so as to navigate you back to accepting your enough-ness.

I share resources, tools, insights, and lessons learned from my own “unmasking” journey to help you debunk that brain of yours and point you back to truth.

Friend, you are more than enough. Let’s get you back to a place where you can really own that for yourself as well.

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About Me • About Me • About Me •

welcome

about
rachael

I’m a writer, speaker, and coach specialized in the areas of confidence & self-worth, identity & calling, body image, and Christian-based mindsets. I help you retrain your brain, grow in your faith, and build better habits so you can live with confidence and stop letting insecurity & self-doubt rob you of the life you long for.

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