A Trip to Carmel to Celebrate 11 Years of Marriage

This past weekend, Sean and I celebrated 11 years of marriage.

11 years hitched, 14 years together as a couple…it’s seriously hard to believe it’s been that long. Wow, I am so grateful for our many years together and look forward to journeying through many more with Sean by my side.

To celebrate our 11 years of marriage, Sean planned a trip for us to head down to stay in Carmel-By-the-Sea.  And also, to day-trip down to one of the most beautiful place ever: Big Sur.

The Carmel/Big Sur area is a special place for us as a couple. It’s a location we’ve visited many times together over the course of the past six years (since making San Francisco our “home”).

This past weekend in Carmel was particularly special for me, as I was incredibly attuned to the differences between this most recent trip as compared to our last visit two years ago.

During our previous trip, we were also celebrating our wedding anniversary.  Similar to our present circumstances, we were incredibly thankful for our marriage and so very grateful to have each other as partners in life.

However, two years ago, Sean and I were in a much different season.  

Recapturing Stolen Moments

Two years ago, I was knee-deep in the throes of eating disorder recovery: it was a very difficult, dark, and excruciatingly painful time of my life.

And while I was the one personally persevering through the struggle, Sean was also subjected the hardship and strife that accompanied my season of transformation. 

After all, when one person hurts in a marriage, the other hurts as well.

This past weekend, Sean and I relived many of the things we had previously experienced during our prior trips to Carmel. 

We did so purposefully because it allowed us to joyfully reclaim moments that my eating disorder had robbed from me (and us).  Moments I had previously merely survived through were made new this past weekend. 

This weekend was our way of celebrating how God has such a remarkable way of bringing so much good out of the dark, ugly places in life.

Not only are we more profoundly grateful for each other because of what we have been through these past few years; but we are so much stronger and closer as a couple.

God Has a Plan For Your Story: Including the Timing of Such

During our drive down the coast of Big Sur, we stopped by one of our favorite spots: Pfeiffer Beach.  As I took in the smell of ocean, the sound of waves crashing on the shore, and the sight of Chloe running carefree along the beach, I was incredibly aware of God’s presence in that moment. 

It caused me to reflect on where I’ve been these past few years and how God has been by my side every step of the way. 

As I was silently expressing my gratitude to God for all He had carried me (and us) through, I heard the Spirit whisper:

“You are exactly where you need to be.”

My soul breathed a sigh of relief as I ingested the truth of that statement. 

It was God’s way of reminding me that I didn’t need to worry so much about the road ahead. I realized I had been exerting so much useless energy questioning my future path. 

What’s the next step, God? What will my next season look like? What do I need to do to prepare myself for where You want to lead me, God?  What if I’m not capable of what You have planned? I’m so small and insignificant in this world: how will You ever use little ‘ole me?  

Questions and concerns such as these have been rolling through my mind for quite some time now.  While I’ve been trying my best to trust God to finish what He’s started in me, my own self-doubt and insecurities have had me anxiously pleading with God to provide me with answers to the questions I have about my future.

However, instead of meeting my heart’s desire to have a sneak-peak into the days ahead, God helped me yank my eyes off my future and instead placed my sight rightfully on Him. 

He reminded me:  I am exactly where He needs me to be. 

God knows exactly what He’s doing and His timing is always perfect.  

Today, we may not see what our present circumstances are doing for us or where God’s leading us: but that’s okay.  Because He does.  

And God doesn’t need us to know what’s ahead in order to get us there. 

During my moment on the beach this weekend, God reassured me that I could let go of all my future-hopping and answer-seeking. 

I was reminded that all I need to do is seek Him and entrust my future days to His extremely capable hands.

I take great comfort in the fact that God wants to get me to where I want to go much more than I want to get there. 

God will not rush His plans for me, just because I’m sick of my “middle season.”  For He knows what this season is accomplishing in me and through me. 

He also knows what He has in store for me.  Therefore, He knows what I will need (e.g., talents, relationships, strengthened character, stronger faith, etc.) to accomplish what He has planned. 

So, I need to trust Him to lead me to (and through) whatever is ahead in His good timing.  And learn to lean into any difficult circumstances I face as training opportunities to shape and mold me into the person He created me to be.

You Are Not Behind: You Are Right Where God Needs You to Be

Friend, I hope it brings you encouragement to know that you, too, are exactly in the place God needs you to be.  

If you find yourself anxious about the road ahead or desperate to dive right in to whatever the future has in store, I encourage you to bring yourself back to the present moment and remind yourself that wherever you are today is exactly where God intends for you to be. 

• Remind yourself that God wants to use you and speak to you today.
• He wants to grow you and change you today, so you’re equipped for whatever tomorrow brings.  
• He is using today’s circumstances to change you in ways that prepare you for the road ahead.
• And remind yourself that God will finish the work He has started within you. Trust Him with your today, as well as your tomorrows.

Friend, do your best to live one day at a time.  

Any time you find yourself trying to prematurely live out your tomorrows, ground yourself back in the “now” of today with this simple mantra: 

“Wherever I am is exactly where I need to be.”

May you keep your eyes set on the One who is the author of your days.